Updated: Jul 18
Relationships are hard. Yes, you might have heard of this phrase somewhere before in your life. It is said so many times before it has become a cliche. But isn't it true?
Sometimes being with people we love with all our might becomes the most challenging job to do. Even if it has started well, stress or life problems can create a conflict in the relationships. Counseling can solve relationship problems by making these people work beyond them and become good partners overall.
When to seek professional therapy
Now, this is a question many people ask when is the right time to seek therapy. Many people come from this notion that professional help should only be required when a breakup or divorce is looming on your head. But till then it often gets very late. You should seek counseling when the problems have started to emerge repeatedly.
Here are some of the reasons why you might want some consultation -:
There are more conflicts or unsolvable disagreements in your partnership.
You don't have much interest in each other's lives.
There are withdrawals or criticism in your conversations.
You can't make decisions together.
A stressful event has taken a toll on your relationship.
But one should never forget that there are no wrong ways to seek professional help. Some people try taking therapy even without major apparent problems so that they can understand each other better.
An average couple takes approximately six years before he goes to seek professional treatment. Still, it takes a lot of time for the problems to fester, and it becomes difficult to save the relationship. Therefore it is advisable to acknowledge these problems as soon as possible.
The art of solving relationship problems
Unsettled problems constitute a significant source of stress and anxiety in a relationship. Stress will not only undermine your chemistry with your partner but also lead to various health-related issues.
Successful relationships are not the ones with fewer problems but have found a way to solve their problems by talking.
Here is a list of problems and ways for tackling your relationship problems-:
1.Communication -: lack of communication is the primary cause of problems in any relationship. You can't be talking with the other person and looking at the t.v or mobile phone. You can solve this problem by-:
Try to make a fruitful conversation with your partner. Keep your mobile phones and kids to bed and talk properly to each other.
If you think you cannot talk without screaming at each other, then you might want to go out to a public place to avoid that.
Don't use words like you never, you always.
Start discussing gently. Do not overwhelm each other.
2. Stay calm-: I know it is easier said than done. Staying calm in a volatile relationship is one of the hardest things you can do. But it would be best if you tried to remain as calm and positive as you can both mentally and physically.
Take your time out if the argument gets heated.
Give each other space and time to relax.
3. Affairs and infidelity-: well, this gives without saying that cheating and affairs can take a toll on your relationship no matter how strong it is. But knowing the underlying causes of the same can repair this. Getting affected by the aftermath of an affair, the partner creating them should stop and have clear communication with the person they had cheated on. Identifying the cause of cheating initiates the exercise for rebuilding trust and healing.
4. Intimacy issues -: sometimes, people who have been in a relationship do not feel close towards each other after some time. It can happen due to a lack of intimacy which is crucial for our relationship. Lack of familiarity in the relationship may lead to losing emotional touch with your partner.
Talk to each other about each other's desires.
You may try to go on a date or a vacation without the kids to rekindle the feelings that are somewhere lost.
Talking to a counselor can help rediscover each other again.
5. Significant life events-: life can throw many curve balls at you. Life-altering events can play a significant role in your life (good or bad), like losing a child or a loved one. When your life takes steep turns, it can bring about rigorous changes in personal lives and relationships. It could also increase misunderstandings and lack of communication with each other.
Talk to a counselor about each other's misunderstanding.
Speaking out your feelings and emotions can help you trust each other again.
6. Emotional distance -: When we speak of needs, we must talk about humans and their emotional needs. And being emotionally present for your partner is the only way this can happen. You don't have to be present physically necessarily, but your partner should feel a sense of comfort, security, and understanding when he or she is with you. If you are not feeling attached to your partner emotionally, you may start to feel alone or misunderstood.
Emotional focusing therapy can help you speak about your trust issues with each other.
Try to talk to your partner about each other's emotional needs.
Counseling can help
Counseling therapy can help you in many ways than others. Talking to a therapist about your feelings towards each other or any misunderstanding causing you both stress can be relieved. I know it sounds easier said than done, but the only way you two can sort this out is by listening to each other and solve the conflicts together.
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